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Cartoon Text and Description

We have designed this site to be accessible to people using screen readers. With the exception of four cartoons, the Sick Humor Postcards site is primarily text.

To read a description of the cartoons on this site, continue below.

Please contact me to receive any of the following alternative format materials:

• Email of Web site in text only,
  
• Catalog in large print,
  
• Catalog on cassette tape,
  
• E-mail of Catalog in text only.

If you have any problems with access on this site, please contact me at SickHumor2@aol.com

Comic #1: Clip n' Copy

"Clip n' Copy: A handy response to all those unsolicited 'helpful suggestions.'" Under the title is a central panel, set up like a letter with dotted lines around it.

"Dear ___________,
(circle one)
a) Friend of a friend
b) Random stranger I met on the subway
c) Second cousin by marriage of my mother's uncle
d) Primary care physician,

Thank you so much for your brilliant insight that:
(circle all that apply)
a) Exercise
b) Blue-green algae
c) Positive thinking
d) Developing a personal relationship with Jesus Christ
e) Risky experimental surgery not covered by insurance
f) Other __________________

could cure me of my long-term
(circle one) illness/disability.

My life has been transformed. I feel better already.
If only I had met you _____ years ago. Please (circle one) publish/post on the Internet your suggestion(s) so that others may benefit.

And to think that all these years I have been:
(circle all that apply)
a) Sitting on my butt
b) Twiddling my thumbs
c) Paying expensive specialists to tell me there's nothing they can do for me
d) Lying awake nights in needless pain.

You have given me the will to heal. See you on the slopes!

Gratefully,
(Your Name Here)
(circle one) Ex-crip/Ex-sickie"

Around the outside of the letter are four drawings. Upper left corner: A greeting card says "Get well soon" on the front. The inside reads, "Or be eternally damned."

Lower left corner: A woman with guide dog flings off her black glasses, saying, "Vitamins? I can see!" Her guide dog looks up at her, confused, and says, "Ruh?"

Lower right corner: A woman skiing down a mountain muses, "All those years wasted in bed, when I could've been skiing."

Upper right corner: A man in a wheelchair ponders, "Hmm, positive thinking..." then decides, "Nah, that'll never work."

Comic #2: If Hollywood Did Disability

First panel: A tall, skinny woman in halter top, mini skirt, and high heels holds a white cane in one hand and a tin can in another. Headline: Tin Cup.

Text: "A modern-day fairy-tale!" -Joel Schmoe, Movie Shmovie Magazine. She: Blind. Beautiful. Utterly helpless. Selling pencils on a street corner. He:
Handsome. Wealthy. Bored by his meaningless life as a millionaire playboy.

They: Together, they are each other's salvation. "This year's Pretty Woman!"
-Dick Cerebellum, New York News.

Second panel: Headline: Waiting to Inhale. Description: Three African-American women sit at a table, greeting their friend who has just walked in wearing a mask over her mouth and nose. Text: "A funny, tender
portrait of 4 women with MCS looking for Mr. Right." Women at the table: "How was your date?" Woman in mask: "He was wearing cologne. And he's a smoker."
Women at table: "Damn..." "Too bad girl."

Third panel: Headline: Escape from L.A. Description: A tough-looking man smoking a cigarette surfs a huge wave. He is throwing a lasso over a man wearing an oxygen tank and running away. Text: "A man with respiratory disease tries to leave the smog-choked city, only to be dragged back repeatedly by sadistic surfers in leather jackets."

Fourth panel: Headline: Independence Day. Text: "Chilling fantasy of paraplegics who leave an institution and roll roughshod over middle America."
Description: A massive person in a wheelchair (on the scale of Godzilla) rolls through a city, crushing people and cars fleeing in panic under his wheels.

Comic #3: CFIDS Diet

This is a single panel designed to look like a magazine advertisement.

Headline: Hey Ladies! Want to Drop those Unsightly Pounds? Try the CFIDS Diet! (Chronic fatigue immune dysfunction syndrome.)

Text: That's right! You've FAILED with other weight-loss techniques: starving yourself, exercising fanatically, bingeing on grapefruit. . . . Now there's a NATURAL way to achieve the wasting required for the fashionable "waif" look"! You'll get: Nausea, Diarrhea, Appetite Loss, Fevers, and Much More!

Drawing: There are two pictures: Before and After. In the Before picture a plump, happy woman in a tennis outfit holds a racquet and ball. In the After picture a thin, exhausted woman leans on a chair for support. Underneath is the testimonial: "I felt like I was dying, but my friends and family couldn't get over how GREAT I looked!"

Text: No Difficult Exercises!
ACT NOW and for NO EXTRA CHARGE you can get multiple chemical sensitivity and food allergies!! No more impromptu trips to the store! Kiss these bulky, calorie-laden foods good-bye: chocolate, dairy, soy, wheat, AND UP TO 100 ADDITIONAL FOODS!

"You'll never look at food the same way again!"

Comic #4: E.I. Accessories

First panel: E.I. Accessories for the Fashionable Gal who has (sensitivities to) Everything! E.I. = environmental illness. *These products really exist!
Second panel: The Portable Air Filter*

Description: An attractive young woman stands like a model, wearing a filter around her neck.

Text: In classic black plastic on an adjustable nylon cord, protect yourself from fumes with this chunky, funky necklace!

Third panel: The Bandana Filter Mask*

Description: A woman in cowboy hat, boots with spurs, and a bandana over her face leans against a wooden fence. A close-up inset shows a woman in profile wearing a different bandana mask. Text: Paired with an organic cotton ten-gallon hat and surgical steel spurs, this filter mask will make folks stare with admiration at your cowgirl flair!

Fourth panel: Denim Oxygen Tank Carry-Case*
Description: A square oxygen tank with tubing and mask sits in a denim case with strap.

Text: Denim never goes out of style! Whether you're sporting blue jean cutoffs or a natty fall blazer, this denim carry case says "It's chic to be sick!"

Fifth panel: Running Shoes

Description: A young woman in sweater, jeans, and sneakers is running with her hands over her mouth. An inset close-up shows the sneakers from top and
side views. The sneakers have X-Cape-Ees written along their sides.

Text: You never know when you'll have to flee from a fragrance or escape an exposure. With these sturdy canvas sneakers you can arrive in style, but leave in a hurry!

Final panel: Headline: Coming Next Season...

Text: Respirators in fashion colors! Dazzling zeolite gemstone earrings mounted on hypoallergenic gold posts! Fragrance-free perfume!

If you have any questions, please e-mail me at SickHumor2@aol.com